Second Chances (remake)
by KurobaSeiko
Summary: (REDONE) Kudo Shinichi has been on the run ever since he got his body back from, well ... everyone. Now, after meeting his long time rival and master thief, Kaitou KID he has a chance to set things right and maybe heal his broken heart.
1. Those who wander are sometimes lost

All of you may recognize the title. This is the remake of my horrifying first start. I hope this one will receive as much praise as its original.

With out further adieu, enjoy.

* * *

Second Chances

Chapter One: Those who wander are sometimes lost

God, I was tired, dogged, bone deep, sleep for three weeks straight kind of tired. The rain was coming down in buckets seemingly right on top of my head. I shivered against the chill and limped along the alley. Glancing over my shoulder I made sure there wasn't any one following. Friend or foe, I didn't want any one around me at the moment. Leaned against the wall I managed to find the time to catch my breath and look at my wounds, however brief that might be. The clothes were ruined with blood, dirt, trash from that impulsive move to hide in a freaking dumpster; which I will not be doing again, ever, period. I closed my eyes and gave myself a few moments of rest before deciding to move again. The sound of cans crashing behind me caused me to ever so gracefully jump nearly out of my skin and whirl on nothing.

'You're jumping at cats, stupid.' I thought and sighed.

Hissing I gripped at the wound on my thigh as blood seeped through the denim. This was great, just great, now how was I supposed to sneak my way through Beika with blood trailing behind me and not get noticed?

'Good bye comfy couch, Doyle, dry, clean clothes, and hot coffee.' Pessimist laughed.

Pinching the bridge of my nose I limped to a fairly clear area before looking over my shoulder one more time. I didn't want to sit down and give them a chance to chance upon me. I was safe, for now at least.

"You look as if you're running from something, young man."

To my credit I didn't scream but I did try to scale the wall behind me. Looking down I stared at the older man sitting hunched on ground who had made the statement. Clamping down on my fear I got my heart rate under control and leaned off my bad leg.

"You could say that." I replied in a quiet, worn voice.

The man didn't say anything for a moment as he watched me with a calm expression and calculating eyes. I watched him warily from the corner of my eye and felt unease creep on me. Then he smiled softly and understandingly. In spite of my predicament I relaxed somewhat and we lapsed into silence. Life carried on the ever busy streets of Beika, without me. I suddenly felt really tiny and insignificant. With my parents overseas and my stupid 'I don't need friends' act left me alone and now with Ran … I clenched my fists and fought grief with every fiber in my being.

The sound of sirens broke my thoughts and I forgot about both, my emotional and physical pain as I crouched down. Five patrol cars whizzed by and I watch Nakamouri-keibu and Hakuba-san drive by in the third. I watched them take a left at an intersection then disappear out of sight. Dumb asses don't they ever think to look up. I snickered and watched to skies and roof tops for a moment. Questions ran through my mind and for the first time in weeks I felt okay. Where was the heist and did he find it this time? I rose and rubbed my hands across my cheeks, smearing dirt, grime, and blood.

"Jii?" a voice whispered behind us.

I watched the old man stand and sigh in relief. "Kaitou-sama"

I barely turned my head to look behind me. Kaitou KID stood just ten feet back clad in his signature white. The lights and the rain cause his uniform to glow softly. A stark contrast to the dark shadows around him.

'Like a soft flame' my mind spoke.

'Touch that flame and you'll get seriously burned.' I shook my head and retorted inwardly.

His dark hair was plastered to his redden cheeks and the monocle was speckled with rain. I noticed his uniform hang heavy on his shoulders, water logged no doubt and probably really heavy. That all knowing smirk was playing at the corner of his mouth as he tried to keep his poker face and figure out who I was. I shivered slightly when he let it free. In all honesty his very presence always made my hairs stand on end and that is a secret that I plan on taking to the grave.

I kept my body as relaxed as I could when I saw KID tilt his head back. To look at me better, maybe? I wasn't sure. It wasn't till he took a step forward I turned to him.

"Jii, he's"

"Ah, Kaitou-sama, he's no one im-" The old man started.

"Kudo Shinichi, a dear friend. Could you please bring the car around?" KID finished.

The old man looked warily between us for a moment before slipping away into the shadows. Silence hung thick and heavy around us and as KID gazed intensely at me I found myself unable to meet his gaze. The sky flashed in a bright white light before a distant rumble announced the arrival of a storm. Turning on a sigh I peered out of the alley's mouth for a clear chance to slip out. An arm slung itself around my shoulders and pulled me gently back away from the street. Unjustifiable fear lanced through my system like a numbing drug before I managed a weakened struggle. KID's grip just grew soft and his hand rubbed down my arm soothingly.

"K-KID …" I whispered breathlessly.

"You're hurt pretty bad aren't you?" He asked softly. Like one would with a skittish animal.

Unable to trust my voice from trembling I merely nodded and looked to his face. The smile he wore was gentle and caring and so understanding. I felt my knees give a little. No, no I wasn't going to break now. I started a stronger struggle and jumped when a second hand found my gashed thigh. I blushed and went stock still as white finger tips brushed feather like touches along the tear.

"So tell me great detective, how does it feel to know this is entirely your fault?" Gin's voice hissed through the darkness and plunged the knife along the outside of my thigh.

I scrambled at the sudden memory and knocked KID away from me. I could feel his confusion and concern like raw salt into my wounds. Shaking my head I wrapped my arms around myself and shuddered. My control was slipping away. I could feel it. It was sliding away like slimy thick ropes straight through my fingers. My mind began to panic against the flood of pent up reactions I had managed to keep at bay. Clenching my teeth I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. To hell I was going to hyperventilate and make a fool of myself here and in front of KID.

"Tantei …" KID voice cut through the darkness and the fog in an instant.

Opening my eyes I realized that in my moment of panic he managed to get closer and cup my face gently. He was so close, too close. I burned hotly under his hands and gaze. A series of emotions flittered across KID's eyes before he pinched my cheeks and stretched them out. Gasping against the sudden pain I heard him laugh and swatted his hands away.

"What in the hell was that for?" I shouted and clamped down on my voice and looked behind me.

KID continued to laugh a hooked his arm around my shoulders again. "I had to make sure you were still there."

As he lead me deeper into the depths of the alley I hesitated and resisted. "Now what are you doing?"

"I'm taking you home with me." He stated simply.

I gaped at him. "What are you, nuts!?"

He grinned wildly and leaned his face just towards my own. "Just a little. I'm going to let you in on a secret, tantei. I hate leaving wounded things lying around, especially when I can help and heal them."

"I'm not some dog that got hit by a car!" I shouted and inched my face back from his.

"Oh, believe me tantei-kun I know that all too well."

It was the implication in his voice and the hand on my hip that made me blush and squirm out from under his arm. I heard him whine slightly before throwing his arm around me again playfully.

"Kaitou-sama." Jii spoke suddenly causing me jump again.

"We're coming." KID said and pulled me along. "Tantei-kun before you go and start making excuses I'm going to tell you right now that they are going to fall on deaf ears. You're hurt and exhausted and I have far too much of a soft heart to just leave you here. So, please indulge my brief moment into sainthood."

I blinked at his sudden confession and stared at the ground. Realizing I wasn't going to hinder him KID rubbed my shoulder gently.

What am I doing? Sitting shot gun as KID's companion drives us to who knows where? Thinking of the said thief I glanced into the mirror and watched him towel dry his hair with the monocle sitting nonchalantly on a pants-less thigh. Good thing he was wearing some kind of body suit otherwise this car would have been awkward. I snorted and leaned against my palm.

'Never mind it was still awkward' I thought and watched the scenery slip by.

"Forgive me tantei-kun but" KID said suddenly and directly behind me. In a swift movement I found my eyes blindfolded.

"Oi, KID!" I protested.

"Gomen, gomen but please understand we're getting close to the exit and there is someone who has yet to be informed of your presence." KID laughed.

He sure didn't sound very sorry with that laugh of his. Reaching for the blindfold I grumbled and jolted as hands clamped down onto my wrist.

"Please, Kudo I don't want to gas you" KID said so seriously that I froze.

I sat there with my wrists in KID grip and thought back to the past hour. Gritting my teeth I realized I was being ungrateful and unreasonable. He has done nothing but offer ('forcefully' my suspicious side chimed in) help without question. Probably going against everything he learned.

"KID you can let go. I give you my word that I won't remove it."

He hesitated before releasing my hands. The sudden spike of adrenaline I didn't register till now was ebbing and now that I felt it so was my pain medication. My legs were trembling. Embarrassed at my weakness I held my hands on my knees to hide it.

'You're fine, Kudo. It's just KID' Oh God, I just lumped the thoughts of KID and safe.

We weren't in the car that much longer, just about twenty minutes or so but the uneasiness I felt with the blindfold made it feel so much longer. Everything seemed heighten to a brutal level. If I didn't get it off I was going the have a panic attack.

"Kudo-sama, we're here." Jii said softly as if sensing my edgy nerves.

I waited for the sound of the engine cut off and the doors before moving.

"Kudo-sama, please take my hand." He spoke again in the same manner brushing his hand along mine. As I took it I felt a surprising amount of strength in it. We made our way from the car and I could hear KID involved in a heated conversation.

"I know you mean well Kaito, but damn it another detective?!"

"He's nothing like Hakuba. If he was I wouldn't bring him anywhere near here."

I could feel eyes on me. I struggled not to squirm.

"What is his name?"

There was a pause and a shuffling sound. Was KID hesitating? Why?

"Kudo"

"You brought a Kudo here!?" The female voice shouted in shock.

I felt Jii's hand tighten on mine and listened carefully. It got so quiet I thought they disappeared.

"He's hurt … bad." KID finally said weakly.

I heard the woman sigh and felt a sharp tug, leading me back to where I left.

"Jii! Wait!" KID's voice became loud and footsteps raced towards us.

"Kaitou-sama, I am merely making the best decision. I won't risk your safety and freedom for some pathetic detective."

I glared from under the blindfold. That pathetic jab hurt even if it was a bit true at the moment but I was trying not be, damn it. I listened to the argument continue and felt little spikes of pain dart around my skull. Great, the meds were officially gone and so was my patience.

"Enough!" I shouted and ripped my hand from the grip on it. "I won't be the object of a family squabble. I shouldn't have even allowed you to take me, nor should I have allowed myself to accept your pity or concern or whatever it is."

My balled fists twitched by my sides. I wanted to rip the blindfold off of my eyes. There was only so much I could take in not being able to see and I've reached my limit. Too mad to even think about taking it slow I began to turn a walk away from the tension. I wasn't going to dishonor them by taking it off in front of the. The sound of sharp movement to my right made me jump from it, tearing my thigh completely open again and slipping on what I could only assume was a step.

"Kudo!"

In a matter of seconds the blindfold was gone and I was staring at KID's unfocused monocle. I was shaking so bad but the relief was immense. I sighed and tried to relax in KID's hold.

"Look" I started while straitening making sure to keep my back to them. "I have no intension of turning KID in. I merely indulge myself in his heist for the fun, the test of it. The thrill of the chase. He's" I paused to clear my throat and collect my thoughts. "Quite the enigma. One I thoroughly enjoy trying to figure out."

"What are you going to do if you figure that out?" She asked.

I thought for a moment, not for her but for myself. Even though what I had just said was the complete truth for my actions now I never really gave much thought to the future or the afterwards.

"Honestly, I don't know. I'm having a hard time in pinpointing an exact crime I can label him without it failing to stick." I shrugged and glanced over at KID.

He was gaping like a fish, unable to find words. I suddenly felt really bashful and began to look everywhere besides him. I heard the woman laugh behind me.

"You ofer us up on a silver platter and what does the detective do? Shrugs his shoulders and says 'no, thank you though. I have bigger prize to catch'."

"I told you he was different." KID smirked.

"You sure do attract some of the weirdest unwanted attention." She huffed and I could imagine her with her hands on her hips. "Alright, let's get him inside and looked at."

It was as if someone popped a balloon. All of the tension that was in the air was suddenly gone. Carefully I turned and looked at the woman. She was pretty, with short hair that hung around her face. I blinked at her eye color though. KID's indigo violet color. It didn't take me long to put two and two together. Shaking my head I smirked.

'Mother and son, huh? Now that is interesting.'

Taking the first step I forgot about my bad thigh momentarily and nearly screamed. Clamping my hand down like a vice on the wound I felt blood trickle from my fingers. Black spider webs were crawling across my vision. The un-buffered pain, lack of sleep, constant state of movement was entire too much for me to take and my body made that known. On a breathy sob I felt my mind slip and drop into darkness.


	2. It's not what you think, maybe?

Yay! The much awaited (sort of) Chap 2. Sorry it took so long. This was a little hard to rewrite. Mostly because it was just a filler. ¯\(°_o)/¯ yeah ...

* * *

Chapter 2: It's not what you think, maybe?

My nose itches. Wiggling it I fought against a sneeze. I sank back into sleep only to have it come back. Nope that sneeze was coming. Inhaling I choked on fur then sneezed and sat up. Claws dug into my chest and I grabbed whatever it was. A cat? Mismatched eyes stared owlishly up at me and I stared back.

"Mistoffelees, what are you doing?"

I looked over and stared wide eyed at the woman. Darkness crept over me and I leaped painfully out of bed. No, no, where was I? I was starting to get tunnel vision and my focus was the door. An escape. I couldn't get captured again. Not ever again.

I felt cold hands crawl over my skin and tighten around my throat. Their icy fingers constricting around my windpipe, cutting of my oxygen, my life. I wanted to scream but couldn't. I couldn't even whimper. Those blue eyes loomed over me, sneering, jesting, daring me to move, to fight. Every time I did though those rough hands would tighten and I would panic even more.

That's what I was doing now, panicking. The terror from those weeks was eating way at my already brittle barriers. I could tell with every racking sob that made my wounds ache. I fled before this time I would fight. I heard a hiss of pain and hands grip my shoulders tight. Twisting I shouted to let me go.

The resounding crack and my head swing sharply to the right had me freezing.

"_" A voice.

The tunnel vision was fading and I could see the woman from before watching me and my holder warily.

"_"

I swallowed and looked to my holder. Such a familiar face. The darkness ebbed and I could begin to hear over the sound of my blood rushing.

"Tantei-kun!" KID shouted desperately.

I watched as blood dripped from KID's nose and plop down on to the floor. Blood … the darkness was swimming back into my vision. Closing my eyes I felt my world slip again.

"Is he going to be alright?" A soft voice asked. "Are YOU going to be alright?"

There was a soft chuckle. "Just a bloody nose and I don't know."

"Kaitou-sama I think he's coming to."

I opened my eyes weakly and stared at the three faces around my side. KID … that's right he … he took me in. As the morning played through my head I flinched at the gentle hand on my brow. Looking over I saw the woman from last night and this morning. I groaned and sat up. Good god I completely broke down on her this morning.

"What's wrong? Are you still in pain?" She asked.

"No, just dying from embarrassment." I huffed.

Now that she had said something. I realized I wasn't in any pain. I couldn't remember the last time I felt like this. It was kind of unsettling. I leaned back and blushed. Where in the hell were my clothes?! I gripped the blanket and pulled it around my waist a little tighter.

"There's no need to be shy, tantei-kun." KID laughed.

I thrust my hand into his face and watched him nearly fall backwards out of his chair. "My clothes, now."

"Sorry but they have been thrown away. Burned to be precise." KID explained huffily.

I gawked at him. "KID! Those were the only clothes I have."

"In case you haven't notice you're not even sitting in YOUR under ware." He smirked.

I felt my face heat. "Clothes now, KID!" I shouted and smacked him with a pillow.

He laughed and stood up. "Hai, hai."

"How are you feeling?"

"Feeling tons better, thank you." I gripped the blanket a little harder and bowed my head. "I'm sorry. For this morning. I … wasn't in my right mind."

We listened to KID rummage around in a Chester drawer before she spoke.

"I'm not entirely sure what you went through and I'm not goin to ask you to share that with us. You mean something to my son and for now that is all I need. You're a detective so I still have my doubts and reasonably so. As a mother I will go to great lengths to protect the ones I love. So for now I will abide to his wishes and keep you here. Not now but soon you'll need to share what or who it is exactly you're running from and when that time comes be prepared for the help well offer." She smiled.

I gaped at her and went to say something but lost the words. Humbled I simply bowed my head and nodded.

"Now, he" She said pointing at KID. "Will help you get dressed. You must be starving by now, so we're going to go down stairs and fix some lunch. You'll eat and put everything behind you for now. Jii."

As the two walked out of the door I watched KID enter my peripheral. "She is …"

"Pushy? Forceful?" KID offered.

"I was going to say amazing."

KID smiled softly at me and I found myself unable to meet it. Laying my legs over the edge and tried to stand. My thigh was having none of it. I felt arms around me and the soft beating of a heart. We both froze and stood there for a few minutes. How long has it been since I felt some one hold me so gently? I fought back the tears and buried my face into KID's shirt. When did I need this? I heard KID's soft gasp and realized I was holding him back. I snapped back and stared up at his face. I blushed and stumbled back.

"Sorry … I"

"Here, the pants will be a little long but they should fit in the waist. " He said and placed them into my hands.

I shifted awkwardly from foot to foot and pulled the tee shirt over my head. My muscles ached with every movement and made the normal movement barely tolerable and coupled with KID's unrelenting stare made me extremely self-conscious. I was not at my best at the moment. I could barely stand much less go toe to toe with him. Bandages wrapped around my thigh and lay in scattered white patches along my torso and from what I could feel onmy back as well. As I gingerly stepped into the sweat pants I sensed KID move up behind me.

Every hair on my body stood up at his closeness. I watched hands grabbed to bottom of the pants before I could even catch my breath and slowly pull the cloth up my claves, then knees. The knuckles of his thumbs brushed along the sides of my thighs and made me shudder and step back. That was a mistake, a very big mistake. We were touching now, pressed with my back against his chest. I could feel his heart pound against my back like a fist and mine rose to meet its pace.

"KID …" I cursed myself for sounding so breathless but at the moment I didn't think I could speak higher than a whisper.

"Hm?"

He stepped back from me and stuffed his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. I could feel my cheeks burn as I looked away from him to the ground.

"T-Thank you" I stuttered. I freaking stuttered.

"You're welcome." He replied and I felt his breath on the back of my neck right before the lips.

It felt like feathers were brushed along my skin and I let out a high pitched squeal. Whirling on him I slapped a hand to the back of my neck. KID was grinning from ear to ear and looking like a big cat ready to pounce.

"KID …" I growled.

"You are quiet energetic for someone who was half dead for three days." His mother said suddenly causing both of us to jump.

She gave KID a knowing look then took my arm gently.

"Now why don't you sit down and stop aggravating that thigh of yours while I bring up your lunch. Do you think you can stomach a light sandwich?"

I rubbed the spot KID had kissed and shot him a glare. "You really don't have to. I really appreciate your help but"

Her raised eyebrow and look only a mother could give had my sentence dying on my tongue." I think so, ma'am." I nodded.

She sat me down and smiled before slipping out of the room. We sat in awkward silence for a while before I swallowed.

"Why?"

KID tilted his head to the side and I was reminded of a curious dog. He thought about the question and shrugged. "I don't know. I just wanted to kiss"

"NOT THAT!" I shouted and turned red. "Why are you helping me? You know good and well exactly who could be after me, so why risk this much? Risk your family? I'm certainly not anyone special. Not worth people dying for me."

"Is that what happened?" He asked.

Evade! GOD, evade! I was nowhere near ready to even think about what happened much less talk about it. I felt the blood rush out of my face leaving me light headed. I heard him curse and start to wrap his arms around me in a hug. I wiggled and shoved his arms aside.

"They won't stop and you know it." I stated seriously.

"Yes, I know."

"Then why?"

He fell silent and so still before wrapping his arms around me again and held. "Because … It may seem a little hard to believe but I do care about you, about all of the people that chase after me. That is the plain truth. I haven't seen the amount of pain you have nor the amount of death but the stuff I have seen haunts me. I never want to see it again or have it happen around me."

I pushed lightly against him trying to get him to loosen his hold just slightly. "Your 'No one gets hurt' rule, right?" I sighed and forced myself to relax.

"Exactly." He said and laid his chin on top of my head. "We're after the same people, tan- Shinichi, there shouldn't be a problem in us teaming up for now."

I stiffened again and shoved hard. "No way! Even if we are on the same side I won't get you involved more than you already are!"

He leaned back and looked at my face. "Is it because I'm a criminal?"

Was he pouting? I shook my head. "No, I just don't want anyone else involved. There are way too many people now. I couldn't bare it if someone else; you included, was to get hurt or worse killed for just being around me."

"You really think that they can kill me? HA! Tantei-kun they have been trying for years now and they haven't even gotten close." KID laughed and sat down beside me, stilling facing me and with a firm hold on my arms.

I opened my mouth to say something then shook it again in disbelief. "KID …"

"Shinichi, I'll be fine. You can't tell me to not get involved now. I've been planning on this route for a while now. You'll be better off in just accepting that." He said and stroked my cheek gently over a bandaged.

I watched for a moment before grimacing weakly at him. I didn't like this. Not one bit. "KID …"

"I can always come back a little later."

We both jumped again at his mother's sudden appearance. KID stood and walked over to take the tray from her and failed to convince her that nothing was going on. Watching the two I steeled myself. In accepting KID's help I was going to drag him into yet another part of the Organization. 'At what cost though?' my mind screamed.

"You have to promise me something."

I was looking at the floor before taking a deep breath and meeting their gaze.

"I need you to promise me." My voice broke slightly. "If something turns for the worse and it seems like your life is in jeopardy, get out. Even if it means my life"

"Shinichi" He started.

"Promise me that you'll live!" I shouted and watched him seriously.

He and his mother watched on silently. They were still quiet as his mother approached me and knelt down in front of me.

"Do you really expect to die in this conflict?" She asked and took my hands.

"I've already prepared myself for that, if it happens." I said somberly. Yes, I was prepared to give my life if that was what it cost.

"Sorry, Shinichi I can't promise you that."

My head jerked up to look at KID. He was so calm.

"I'm not going to just abandoned everything I stand for."

I bowed my head and clenched my hands into fists. Anger was building. HE didn't get it. I couldn't bare it if he died. For so long KID had been my salvation as Conan; my way of an escape from the day in and day out of murder, my release. If I lost him … What would I do?

"I won't make any promise but I can say that I'm not going to let them kill me. It's not a promise, it's fact." He said softly.

I looked up at him and stared at the familiar knowing-smirk. Bowing my head I nodded. "That'll have to do." For now.


	3. To be Found means you had to be Lost

Yay chapter 3. Gin ... scares the ever loving crap out of me. Had to say that.

Enjoy. - KS

* * *

Chapter 3: To be found means you had to be lost

I have to say this:

KID and his mother are insane.

Don't get me wrong I'm reluctantly grateful to both of them for putting up with me. Even I know how much of an ass I've been. KID and I have argued pretty heavily about me staying there with him. Logically you wouldn't take in someone who is being chased by killers, oh right, they are insane. It seemed the only person, besides myself that had any form of rational sanity was Jii and I hadn't seen the old man since that morning. I reclined against the grass and thought back to my latest argument.

* * *

"_Tantei, you are not ready." KID said taking ahold of my shoulders and steered me away from the front door. _

"_KID, if you don't let me go" I growled._

"_Shinichi-kun, he's right. You're not completely healed yet." Chikage said and took my elbow opposite of KID._

"_I am fine!" I shouted and tried to pull my arms free._

"_Sure you are." KID huffed._

"_Damn it, KID! Look I'm grateful you and your mom for patching me up" I ignored his hushed comment about the sour attitude. "But I've been here for two months, I'm all better now. There is no reason for me to stay here and put you both in danger."_

_Chikage released me and for a moment I thought I had won, until KID stepped in front of me._

"_You don't need to stay here, or you don't want to."_

"_What difference does it make?" I inquired and knocked his approaching arms away._

"_It makes all the difference, Tantei." He said calmly._

"_It isn't your physical health we're worried about." Chikage added softly._

_I pinched the bridge of my nose and ground my teeth. "I am fine."_

"_Then tell us what happen." KID said narrowly. "If you're 'fine' tell us exactly what the Black Organization did to you."_

_I felt icy hands around my throat and glared at him before shoving past him and headed up stairs._

* * *

Sighing I sat up and glared at the thief just a little ways off. He was performing at the park, again. I think it was day three to our little agreement. I would accompany him to the parks or go with Chikage to pick up food. At first I was against to having being escorted around but after the mild panic attack I suffered through on the first day I realized that I wasn't okay.

The sudden scream from a man had me leaping to my feet. With my heart blasting against my chest I looked down towards the crowd. Some guy was freaking out about his hair, which just happened to be this obscene color of neon pink and shouting obscenities at KID. I could only guess at what happen with the fearful girl in the thief's hold. The sound of everyone laughter and cheers soothed out the rest of my frazzled nerves and the show proceeded with a new act with the girl acting as KID's assistant. He was good; I had to give him that. Almost every show was different and he rarely repeated show acts back to back.

I leaned back against the soft grass and blew my hair from my face. Closing my eyes I relaxed and enjoyed the soft breeze, the sounds of life, the gentle hands carding through my hair … wait, what? My eyes flew open and I stared wide eyed at KID's knowing smile before glaring at it.

"What did you do, now?" I asked and sat up.

"Nothing~"

The sing song voice was a warning in itself. I ran a hand through my hair nonchalantly and felt nothing weird. Then the angry shouts that came in our direction was my second clue. He laughed and tugged on my sleeve.

"Come on."

He pulled me up and made his way back down the hill, past the dissipating crowd and into the throngs of walkers. Some of his audience waved to him as we walked by but for the most part we went ignored. That was nice, being noticed but never acknowledged. Walking invisible. To everyone else you're just another face, another body, nothing to waste time on and I found myself a little overwhelmed by the humbling feeling to just be part of the crowd. I looked at KID's back and realized that I probably wouldn't be able to do this without him. Hell, I probably wouldn't be alive. The sudden stab of guilt from my attitude and treatment to the thief hit me low in the gut. I need to change. I smiled for the first time in what felt like years I smiled. Picking up my pace I slipped out of his hold and walked past him and turned to him.

"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting and thank you, KID, for everything."

He was staring at me in shock and was holding his hand out exactly where I slipped mine out of it. I stuffed my hands into my, well my borrowed pants pockets. I looked to the sky and blushed slightly.

"I'm not going to repeat myself so"

"Shinichi" He started then froze.

I looked at him. "KID?"

"Kaito!"

I turned to see what he was staring at and sudden felt ice in my blood.

Impossible! This was impossible! I felt my hand shake and stepped backwards.

'No, Kudou! Ran's … Ran's dead! You saw it happen!' That voice screamed in my head trying to reason some logical explanation past the shock.

She looked at me full of concern and confusion before reaching towards me. Darkness flooded my vision and everything tilted.

* * *

_The metal cuffs were digging into my scabbed wrist and I fought against another dizzy spell as I sat up. How long has it been? Looking up I watched light from a street lamp play with the dust in the air. I leaned back against the wall I was chained to and sighed. I was so tired. I barely flinched at the loud bang when it echoed around the room._

_Loud muffled shouts and gun shots made me jump wide awake and watch the door. The noise was getting louder and closer… closer… closer. My breathing increased sharply and I barely stifled a yelp when the doors flew open._

"_Shinichi!" Ran screamed and wrapped her arms around my shoulders._

_For a few stunned minutes I sat there with her sobbing against my shoulder. "Ran … How did you find me?"_

"_It doesn't matter." She smiled and shook her head. "We're getting out of here."_

_Freedom, life. I choked and leaned against her. She hugged me and kissed the top of my head. I watched Ran unlock the hand cuffs and once free I instantly wrapped my arms around her. My wounds and broken ribs protested loudly and got ignored. Before I could say anything I felt gentle hands pull me into a kiss._

"_I love you." She whispered and I laid my forehead against hers fully intending to reply the same way._

"_Hey, Angel I don't mean to interrupt but we have to hurry."_

_I spun around fast and put Ran behind me. "Vermouth." I hissed._

"_Shinichi wait she is the one that brought me here."_

"_What!?" I felt sheer panic ebb into my mind. I gripped Ran's arms and angled her so I was still in between. "She's with the people that took me!"_

"_SB, I" She cut herself off and raised her gun._

_I felt sweat trickle down the side of my face and I turned to face her. The sound of footsteps echoed around us solemnly. I shuddered and stared wide eyed at the door. I knew that gait. I had heard it so many times since my capture. Ran's concerned questions went unanswered and I swallowed the lump in my throat._

"_Gin." I whispered hoarsely when he came into view._

"_Oh it seems as though our little pet has a friend." He said and flicked the cigarette towards me. "Vermouth, what are you doing here?"_

"_Just to deliver a message: The Boss wants Kudou alive." She smiled and lazed her stance._

"_Does he now? Did he say how alive he has to be?" Gin smiled and looked at me._

_I felt Ran shake and cling to my arm._

"_Vodka."  
"Right, Come on now girly."_

_I stepped back from him till I felt Ran pressed against my back and braced my hand against the wall on either side of her. As his hand got closer I ground my teeth. The sudden gunshot had us all jumping. As the room plunged into darkness the room erupted into chaos. I pulled Ran with me under the window and ran for the door._

_It was just a matter of seconds of me to see Gin raise his gun and hear the blast. I jumped full bodily and froze. That came from … I spun around fast to see Ran pitching forward. Arms locked themselves around my throat and a rough hand muffled my screams. Horrified my mind sharpened and locked in the sight. I bit into the hand at my mouth and tasted blood. Tearing at the arms around me I faintly heard a hiss._

"_RAN! RAN!" I shouted._

_My bare feet slipped in liquid and I nearly bit my tongue. I felt my head grow light when I looked down. Blood, warm rivers of it crept like fingers towards me._

"_Ran …" My voice was barely a whisper now._

_She didn't move, nor would she ever again._

_For a moment the only thing I could see or feel was rage. There were arms, many of them binding around me in vices. Then I could see black through the red. Ink dropped in all the blood._

"_Gin! You son of a bitch! I'm gonna" I heaved as a hard punch plowed into my diaphragm. I hit my knees and dry heaved bile._

"_Boss, what do you want to do with the body?" Vodka called out above the roar in my head._

"_Drop her in a ditch somewhere outside of the city. Make sure not to leave any evidence."_

_Adrenaline and white hot anger flashed threw me as I tackled Gin._

_I sputtered and gasped when freezing water was dumped over me. Fearful I looked around at my new surroundings. A tiny, cramped room, no windows, and just a bed I lay in. Chains rattled when I moved and I forced myself to continue to breath._

"_It's a shame you had to get her involved. If she had stayed away from you … wait … I have it backwards. If you had stayed away from her she would definitely be alive right now. Was it that you loved her that much?" Gin's voice said from somewhere in the shadows and his question stunned me._

_Light bounced off the blade and I barely had enough time to brace myself before it sliced threw my flesh. I clamped my jaw shut and arched my head back. It was becoming too much. It was a continuous onslaught that mixed an old pain with a new one. I whimpered as the bladed dug under each of my nails, scratch lightly along my ribs, then swipe shallow cuts along my chest. I gasped and gulped down mouthfuls of air when it disappeared._

_Then I screamed and went completely rigid. The knife was plunged onto the outside of my thigh. My voice hiccupped and cracked then rose again when he pulled the blade out and stabbed through my right hand pinning it to the matrices._

"_So tell me great detective, how does it feel to know this is entirely your fault?"_

_I closed my eyes so he couldn't see me break. The sudden caress along my scratched ribs made me shiver and open my eyes. Gin was quiet and calm and for a moment seemed to be lost in a memory. That, more than the psychotic anger and the crazed pleasure in killing, scared me more; the fact that he could be human. Mesmerized I watched his hands trail butterfly touches over my hip bones, lift then return to the inside of my uninjured thigh. I felt my breath hitch when they moved up and over my clothed member._

_I looked away and nearly vomited. I jumped and tried to arch away when those icy fingers slipped into my pants._

"_Don't …" I whispered._

_He looked up at me and I realized I wasn't the person he was seeing. My repeated went as ignored as the first time I had said it and he began to stoke me. I choked on bile as it raced into my throat. The only thing my mind could rationalize was the humiliation everything else was to outrageous to even comprehended. I groaned in frustration and felt my face flush. In a last ditch effort I tried to hide it behind my good arm. I felt his other hand take my chin and hold it so it wasn't hidden._

_I could feel it, the rising build just before the topple over. I sobbed, pride abandoned as he brought me over the edge. I heard the bed squeak in tune with my ragged breathing. I glared at him as he loomed over me._

"_Kudou …" He looked so lost._

_The door slammed open and I found myself paling. Vodka looked at us briefly before speaking. Whatever opinion the man had he wisely kept it to himself._

"_Gin, we had a problem, Cops, a lot of them."_

_Gin rose and walked toward the door. "Un-cuff him and take him down to the car."_

_He slipped out of the door and I breathed again. I could deal with Vodka. As he unlatched my left hand and legs I swiftly pulled the blade out and hide it under my arm. He unlocked my left wrist then stared at my hand._

"_Wasn't there a knife?" He asked._

_Not the brightest bulb are you? "Yes there was." I said._

_We jumped at the loud shouts from below us and he turned his back to me. I leaped and slammed the butt of the hilt onto the base of his skull. He crumpled and held the back of his head. I raced for the door and stepped out into the hall. Gin and I held each other's gazes from the opposite ends of the hall before I ran towards the noise. I could hear the 'pop, pop' of the silencer before I hit the floor and slid over the edge of the stairs into Mouri Kogoro._

_We tumbled together before stopping at the base of the stairs. I stared wide eyed at the commotion before completely collapsing against the stairs._

* * *

"Tantei …"

Who? Who is that?

"Tantei, come on. Wake up."

I opened my eyes gingerly before focusing on KID four inches from my nose. I stared at him blankly for a moment before closing my eyes again. I slowly sat up and leaned against his arms as they helped me up. The world was still spinning and my head hurt.

"What happened?" I asked and caught the hand kerchief as it slipped off my head. I rubbed the back of my head and winced. That was a bump.

"You had a horrible panic attack. I was about to call the hospital." KID explained and knelt down in front of me. He watched my eyes before raising two fingers. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Two and just so you know all I have is a head ache."

"Do you have any idea what it sounded like when your head hit the pavement?" He exclaimed and latched on to my hands. "An egg. It sounded like an egg breaking."

I blinked at his shaking hands and looked up to his face. Fear was pretty apparent in his violet eyes and his voice was slightly quivering.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled stunned.

"He woke up!" I jumped and looked at 'Ran'. She ran over to us carrying a water bottle before thrusting it at KID. "Are you alright? Anything broken? What about your head? You smacked that pretty hard. I'd never seen Kaito go so pale in my life. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Ah … Is that water for me?" I asked softly.

"Huh? Oh! Yes." She said and took the bottle from KID. "Here."

"Thank you." I unscrewed the cap and downed half of it before taking a deep breath. "I'm doing better now."

"I'm glad. You had us worried." She said.

I looked at her more seriously now that she wasn't a whirlwind. They looked similar at a distance but up close it was easier to tell the difference. Whoever this was had a wildness to her. I watched her squirm under my gaze before I softened it all around. I leaned my elbows on my knees and swung for the charm I once had.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare so intensely at you. It's just" I took a deep breath. "You look like some I knew."

I could feel KID's questioning gaze and stood. "Thank you, Miss …"

"Oh! I'm Nakamouri Aoko, childhood friend to this idiot." She said and elbowed KID lightly in the ribs.

I struggled to hide my shock. "You're friends with him? Interesting."

"Yeah, We've been friends since we were really little. Sometimes it amazes me." She laughed.

"I'm"

"Kudou Shinichi, The Great Detective of the East."

I rocked back onto my heels and nodded. "That's right."

"I know about some of your work. My Dad really thinks highly of you."

"Your father?"

"Hm, he's an Inspector in the robbery"

"You don't mean Nakamouri-keibu! The one that in charge of the KID task force." I exclaimed.

"Yeah?"

I wanted to laugh so badly. I guess his luck had to run out somewhere.

"What's so funny, Tantei?"

"Nothing~. I'm just amazed at how much of a small world this is." I said and smiled at him. I watched him pout and clench his fists. "Were we meeting her at the park?"

I watched the fight go out of him as he looked at Aoko then to me. "We weren't."

"Hm." I looked back to Nakamouri and stuffed my hands into my pockets.

"Since we have met and you" She started and pointed at KID. "Have no more performances to do, why don't you both come with me?"

KID shot me a worried look and I ignored it. "To where?"

She laughed and hooked an arm around mind and KID's. "To go shopping there are some things I want to get."

KID groaned loudly and I thought to the clothes I was wearing.

"That actually doesn't sound like a bad idea." I mumbled.

"Really! You want to go?"

"I have to buy some clothes." I stated and leaned back.

"Tantei, you just made the biggest mistake in your life." KID said and clamped a hand onto my shoulder.

"I can't keep going around wearing your clothes." I hissed.


	4. We are bound by the secrets we share

Chapter 4: "We are bound by the secrets we share." - Zoe Heller

"I don't get it. I thought you were missing." Aoko said. "I mean my father said that they received a fax to look out for you about two years ago. Everyone thought you were dead."

I folded KID's jeans and laid them on the bench behind me. "I was in the states and the times that I did return I told who ever I was involved with not to mention that I was there."

"Oh, what were you doing there?" She asked and laid more clothes over the door.

"Work." I replied simply and pulled on the new jeans.

Despite my almost expected complaining I made when I went shopping with my mother or her I actually enjoyed going. I admired my look for a moment before slipping out of the jeans.

"I'm not going to get any more details am I?"

"Nope." I said and peeked around the curtain.

She pouted at me and I smiled softly. Behind her KID made a face at the two of us. He was still acting pissy and had been since we had left the park. I sighed and disappeared behind the curtain again.

"Jeez, Kaito, you look like some cat after a bath."

"Hmph." Was his brilliant reply to her comment.

I tugged his pants back on and gathered my clothes. They had started a hushed argument when I went behind the curtain. I jumped when Aoko shouted.

"What in the world are you talking about?"

"Nothing!" He snapped back.

"Sure~ you are acting stupid. What's wrong in helping?"

"There's nothing wrong with it."

"Then what's your problem?" She asked.

KID looked over her shoulder to me then quickly looked away. Aoko glanced between the two of us warily. As I went to speak KID turned and walked out of the store. Aoko and I share a confused look.

"What is wrong with him?" she huffed and looked at me.

"Your guess would probably be better than mine."

She tilted her head to the side. "Why is that?"

"You two are childhood friends. You're bound to know him a lot better than I." I explained and walked towards the front to pay.

Her expression saddened and she chewed on her bottom lip. "I wonder if I do."

"Huh?"

"Sometimes I feel like I know him, then he does something or says something that makes him in to a total stranger."

I handed the cashier the money and looked at Aoko. She was lost in thought and looked so sad. I smiled and patted her shoulder. "I can understand."

"He is certainly not my Kaito anymore." She sighed suddenly.

"Thank you, Your 'Kaitou'?" I asked and carried the bag to the door.

"Not 'kaitou'. Kaito, Kuroba Kaito" She laughed. "That's his name."

I froze and watched KID's expression go from normal to shock then horrified fear. Aoko looked behind us and playfully punch his arm.

"Kaito, you never told him your name?" Aoko asked oblivious of his fear.

"There wasn't a chance." I started suddenly. "You see, we just met two nights ago and I've been nearly unconscious with a fever. Today is the first time I've been well enough to get out."

KID gaped at my panicked explanation before reclaiming a somewhat calm expression when Aoko's gaze left mine and fell on him.

"Is that true, Kaito?"

"Yeah," He swallowed. "Ka-san said it might do him some good to get out for a bit. It completely slipped my mind that he didn't know my name." He laughed and scratched the back of his head.

I watched him carefully and jumped when Aoko took my arm.

"You're such an air head some times, Kaito." She chuckled and began to drag me away. Over my shoulder KID vanished.

"Ah!"

"Hm?" Aoko followed my gaze and jumped when her phone rang. "What the? Kaito!"

As she texted I looked around for any signs of the thief. The calm I had slowly died as my nerves rose. I flinched when Aoko spoke again.

"Kaito said he needed to take care of something so he ran home for a bit. He wanted me to take you to a café and we'll meet him there."

The phone snapped shut and I thought 'yeah right, stuff to take care of.' I watched everything as we walked. Thousands of questions raced through my mind. Why did he run? Was everything alright? Did something happen to Chikage?… Was it my fault? I glanced up and saw Aoko just a few paces away chattering about something. Another question popped into my mind. Should I run?

'You can get away now. This is the perfect chance.' That voice said. I wondered where it had disappeared to.

I stood on the side walk next to her and realized something very simple. I didn't want to leave and I needed KID. I looked around us again out of mere habit and followed Aoko across the street on my mind was just one word. One thought. KID.

Aoko opened a wooden door and allowed me in first. As we weaved through the round tables I kept an eye out for a familiar face.

"You okay?" Aoko asked suddenly and appeared in my vision.

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, perfect, why?"

"I don't know, you just keep looking around us like something is going to jump out of the shadows." She took a seat across from me and I tucked the bags under the table cloth.

"Do I?" I laughed weakly.

She nodded and gave me a concerned look. KID was always speaking directly to me or doing something that kept my attention from my surroundings. I barely registered anything else when I was with him. A tired looking waitress swung by and asked for our orders and I actually stumbled over my tongue to answer.

"Kudou-kun, I'm going to step into the ladies room for a minute, okay?"

"mm" I replied and clenched my teeth and hands.

The café's voices suddenly seemed to spike and crowd around me. In those few minutes everything turned into chaos. Closing my eyes I tried to fight sudden feeling of claustrophobia and just as I felt my throat close and gentle hand brushed my shoulder. I looked up and went tense. KID.

"Sorry for"

"Kaito! You jerk, why did you bale on us?" Aoko fussed.

He looked at me briefly before looking back to Aoko. "Ka-san lost her wedding ring. I had to help her find it."

Aoko made a face and took her seat. "You could've told us."

He shrugged. I bowed my head and took a deep breath. My hands were still shaking but the tightness in my chest was gone. They pick up into a conversation and I looked around the room. The café was a pretty European design. Burgundy wall with cream colored trim, dark oak floors; scuffed and worn but well taken care of. When Kaito shifted forward in his chair I took in the delicate rose pattern in wrought iron and the cream and rose, pin striped cushions. I rubbed my fingers over the buttermilk colored table cloth and watched a slightly closed yellow rose come into view.

I blinked at it and reached for it. As gently as I could I stroked the velvety petals and smile softly at it.

"Shinichi, watch" KID whispered and lifted the flower out of reach.

I never took my eyes off the rose and watched it bloom revealing hidden light pink tips. Once fully opened I hesitantly met KID's watchful eyes. He smiled apologetically to me.

"Performing magic again, Kaito?" Aoko said wistfully.

KID smirked and brought the rose to his lips. We held each other gaze and sound disappeared behind the roar in my ears. Gently he took my hands and placed the rose into it.

"Here are your orders." The waitress said suddenly and I snapped out of KID's spell. She leaned over me and I shivered at the contrast of our body temps. I leaned away from her and tugged on the collar of my shirt. I was strangely hot. I noticed KID smirking at me from the corner of my eye and I glared at him.

"You weren't here before. Did you want anything?" She asked sweetly to KID.

I mocked her for a moment and watched something flash in KID's mask.

"Hai, you're European iced chocolate and a chocolate éclair."

My teeth! I clenched them and scrunched my nose. Way too much sugar and chocolate. "Chocoholic." I mumbled.

KID grinned wildly at me.

"Kaito practically lives off of sugar." Aoko explained. I had honestly almost forgotten she was there.

"It's why I'm so sweet." He puffed.

"Heh," I laughed. "And as innocent as an angel."

He gave me a cold look and mouthed 'it's on'.

"Ah!"

Aoko's scream had me and some other patrons nearly falling out of our chairs and KID leaping to his feet.

What?!" We exclaimed together.

"I'm supposed to meet Keiko!" She explained and gathered her stuff.

I gawked at her and watch KID collapse into his chair.

"AHO! You just scared the crap out of everyone here."

She stuck her tongue out at him and shouldered her purse. I stood when she walked to me.

"Sorry, it was very nice to meet you."

"You, too." I said weakly and caught KID staring at us.

Wait, was he … Aoko bowed and raced out the door. We took our seats quietly and I watched him glare at the table. If he really is jealous …

"KI-" I cut myself off.

I nibbled on one of my lemon tarts and looked around. I didn't know what to say to ease the tension. KID's order arrived and I winced.

"How is it that you still have all your teeth?" I asked grateful for the topic.

"Never had a cavity either." He grinned so all of his perfectly white teeth were shone.

"Braces?" I asked leaning against my hands.

"Nope." He said and bit into the éclair.

"Just amazing luck." I laughed softly and shook my head.

"Kissed by the Lady herself." He chuckled.

I watched him take another bite and blinked at the cream on the corner of his mouth.

"By the way you can call me by my" He froze in midsentence and stared wide eyed at me as I reached over and swiped the cream off with my thumb.

I was innocently curious to what it tasted like. The cream was sweet and overpowering in vanilla flavor. I looked at him confused as I lowered my thumb. "Sorry, what did you saying?"

He placed the back of his hand to his mouth and I watched his ears and neck flush scarlet. A laugh escaped me before I could stop it. He looked up at me weakly.

"Tantei, that was"

"Sorry." I mumbled and covered my own mouth with my hand and leaned forward on the table. "I get impulsive when I get curious about something.

"Is that so?" he whispered and continued to stare at me. "Should I worry about Aoko?"

For a minute I couldn't tell if that was for me to hear or not but it made me slightly angry. "Huh?" I said and dropped my hands to the table.

He jumped and looked to the floor. "Nothing, never mind."

My hands tightened on the table cloth. "Don't even think that I would do something to Nakamouri. She's very sweet and looks like her but she isn't …" My voice broke.

"Ran." He finished.

I narrowed my eyes. "Why would you even think that I would think of Aoko like that?"

He didn't answer and sat back in the chair.

"I never knew you could be jealous." I huffed.

His hand clenched and he glared at me. "I am not jealous."

"You're not?" I shot back and mimicked his pose.

His glare sharpened and his hands tightened even more. I sighed. This was stupid. I didn't want to fight with him about this.

"You don't have to be jealous of me." I said and smiled softly at him. "I've got nothing to offer her. Even if I did like her I wouldn't do anything. Not with my situation."

The fight was still in his eyes when he stood. "Home."

"Wha- Ah! Wait!" I called out after him as he walked to the cashier.

He paid and was out of the door before I could even get out of the seat. I scrambled to catch up with him. "KID, I seriously don't get why you are mad."

He ignored me and I felt my anger grow. I reached over and grabbed his shoulder. "Damn it would you just stop. Look at me. What I said is the truth. I won't put anyone in the same position as I did with Ran. I won't! You don't have to worry about Nakamouri!"

He watched me carefully before turning and walking off saying only one thing again. "Home."

I felt my eye twitch and muttered curses under my breath. As we reached the house he opened up the door and I shoved past him. Chikage's warm welcome went ignored as did her concerned questions. KID's cold shoulder was still freezing me from being friendly.

I tossed down the bags and closed the door with a slam.

'Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!'

"Stupid!" I shouted and punched the wall. I explained to him that I wouldn't do anything. I fucking couldn't! I don't ever want to have anyone that close again! I don't even want to stay long enough for it to happen! … I sighed. I wanted to stay though. I leaned my forehead against the wall and heard the door open. Straighting I looked at KID before glaring at him.

"What?" I sniffed and turned to the bed to empty the bags.

Arms wrapped around my torso and I froze.

"I wasn't jealous of you." KID whispered.

I swallowed then searched for my anger that had decided to take off. "So now you want to talk."

I felt him chuckle. "Some things shouldn't be talked about with an audience."

I felt my cheeks burn and remembered that I shouted most of that on the side walk.

"I was jealous of her." He said and tightened his hold. "She … In just a few hours had you more open and relaxed than in the two months you've been with me."

"KID …" I started.

"It's frustrating! To see you so lost for months then BAM one hour with Aoko and you're better!" He shouted.

I winced and thought of Chikage. 'So much for keeping this talk private.'

"And to top it all off, I'm still pissed off, damn it!" He yelled and turned me around to face him. "And confused. I've never been so much of both in my life. I've gone to school with an egotistical, half Brit with a Sherlock Holmes complex who had figured out who I was and is still hell bent on my capture and he has never, NEVER gotten me this worked up. You managed this in one fucking day!"

I knocked his hands away and stepped back. "And you decide to answer that by giving me the cold shoulder and ditching Nakamouri and I?"

"No! Yes!" He answered.

"AHO! You're confused!? Do you have any idea what that little stunt did to me? I was fucking scared out of my mind with scenarios that might have happened! I thought something happened to Chikage! Do you have any idea how badly it scares me every day to see one of you leave!? The Fucking Organization is after me! You're both involved just like Ran!" My breath caught on a sob but I continued. "I needed to know you are safe! If Chikage is safe! I need you! AND another thing! The only reason I seemed to be better with Nakamouri is because I was in shock! You try reliving some of the worst moments in you life and then registering anything else. I was too tired to even focus on their similarities till I had already made them out to be different people."

I panted and felt my legs shake but I remained standing. KID's expression softened and went apologetic. I placed a hand into my hair and brushed my bangs back.

"Now that all the secrets are cleared up." I mumbled.

"Some of them." He said lightly and pulled my into his arms.

He held on tighter when I wiggled and I just sighed and gave up. Lying my head onto his shoulder I felt him tense before relaxing and moving closer.

"Like I was trying to say before you pulled that couples stunt in the café. You can call me by my real name."

I slowly raised my head to stare in shock at him. "Kuroba …"

He smiled and tilted his head to the side.

"Kaito …" I tested.

His smile widened and I couldn't help but to answer it with my own.

I shook my head and thought about how long I had been here. "It's nice to finally meet you."

I squeaked when Kaito crushed me in an even tighter hug.


	5. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker

Chapter 5: "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." - Ogden Nash

"Kaito! What are you doing!?" Chikage shouted from the bottom of the stairs. "You are going to be late!"

I looked up at the ceiling when a loud thump rattled the light fixture. 'He fell out of bed.' My mind sang. I waited three seconds before looking back down to the morning paper and my coffee.

"SHINICHI!" Kaito yelled and I hid my smile from behind my mug.

Chikage held up her hand as she walked by and I clapped it in return. It had been a few weeks since I met Aoko and told them the basic story of what happened. Details to that incident didn't need to be shared. Kaito and I had begun this pranking fest after I woke up and found him in my bed. Okay so that would have bothered me as bad if we weren't cuddled up together and changed my clothes into a woman's night gown. After that it was war but it was good all in good fun. We never did anything to hurt one another and honestly it was more of a ritual than a need for revenge. I folded the paper when Chikage placed breakfast down in front of me.

"Aren't you going to eat?" She asked innocently and I felt Kaito's hands in my hair.

That was another thing that had increased Kaito's need for physical contact. He was always touching me.

"I would if someone didn't turn off my alarm and tie my feet together." He said and rubbed his hand.

"Oi!" I protested and winced.

He laughed and jumped back when I swung after him. "Ja ne! Thank you for the meal."

"Hey! Get your own toast!" I called out after him and heard the door close. "Jeez."

I heard Chikage giggle and I looked at her.

"It's good to see you getting better."

"Yeah, I'm sorry I was such an ass." I said sheepishly.

"Kaito explained your reason to me more than once when I wanted to go off on you." She laughed and took a sip of her tea. "He's quite fond of you."

I blushed slightly and took a swallow of coffee. I had sort of noticed.

"I think he's at war with himself." She said distantly.

"What for?" I asked. "Does this have anything to do with his night job?"

She gave me a measure look and I braced myself. Only a mother knows how to make you feel like your five years old and your hand in the cookie jar.

"Does his night job bother you?"

"Huh?"

"Him being KID is it hard for you to be friends with him?" She cleared.

I leaned forward on my elbows and thought about it. "No, not really. Honestly it sort of makes a good foundation for a relationship between us. I've never really had a problem with KID in the first place and after finding out who he was I expected my curiosity to fade but …

I placed my mouth to my hands and tried to hide the wild smile. "It has just increased it. Kaito is more of an enigma than KID. I would love to find out what exactly made him choose this life but that would require him to trust me a whole lot more than he does already."

Chikage blinked at me and laced her hands. I swallowed and continued.

"At first I thought KID was a mask or a character he put on, like an actor. That's not the case. KID is so innocently Kaito that there isn't a boundary between the two. It literally takes thinking of them as the same person to understand that they aren't two different despite his ability to make it out that way. So my feelings of respect and wonder for the thief were also for Kaito. It's still kind of a shock. A comfortable one though."

I focused back on Chikage. She was watching me so carefully; emotions and thoughts hidden behind her own poker face. I watched her eyes like I always did with Kaito when he went like this and wondered if I had said too much too soon. "Chikage-san?"

"Thank you for tell me that. I have been worried about Kaito getting so close to a detective and when he told you found out his identity it took everything in me not to take him a flee." She sighed. "But you came back with him. You had every opportunity to leave or get the police and you definitely could, so why didn't you?"

I shifted in my seat. "I … I don't want to leave. I need both yours and Kaito's kindness." I smiled at her and added. "And stubbornness."

She laughed gently and rose. "I don't think I'll be losing any more sleep now. Welcome to the Kuroba family."

I felt my breath hitch and emotion clouded my eyes. "Thank you, Chikage-san."

"I've grown fond of you, Tantei." She smiled and stroked my head.

"I've grown fond of the two of you despite my better judgment." I whispered.

She laughed and walked towards the hall. I sat there and basked in the warmth in my chest.

"Shinichi?"

"Hm?"

"I have to run to the store later … around lunch time and Kaito forgot his bento on the counter."

I followed her eyes and laughed. "I threw him off track this morning."

She nodded and walked into the kitchen with the bento. I rotated in my seat so I could face her. "I was wondering if you could take it to his college."

"Alone?" I asked excitedly.

"Think you could handle it?" She grinned.

"Mmm!" I replied and nodded.

Noon could come fast enough. I waited till Chikage left before getting ready. I honestly tried to get dressed like normal. Okay I rushed a bit but for the first time since I came here I'd be able to walk around without my metaphorical leash. Running downstairs I found the directions on the bento and an IPod with a sticky.

'This will help to ease the nerves.' – Chi

I pocketed both the player and the directions and headed out.

Ekoda was nothing and yet so much like Beika. It was downright weird. Beika was heavily influenced by the city's hustle and high life so it was always in constant motion as for Ekoda; it was more relaxed and a little eccentric. 'More like a lot of eccentric.' My mind chimed when we passed a hooded figure carrying a crystal ball with a snake stand. I stroked the player and wondered how far I could get before my nerves started to scream. So far I seemed to have a good grip on my anxiety. But from past incidents that could change in a heartbeat. I paused for a cross walk light and breathed in deep. It was tiny almost completely unnoticeable but I felt it; the lightest brush of a small hand on mine. When I looked down tearful turquoise eyes stared at my thigh.

"What's wrong?" I asked a stooped down.

"Ka-san." She said with a trembling lip.

I smiled weakly and held her hand. "Did you lose her?"

She shook her head tossing light brown hair around her face. She wrapped her arms around my neck and trembled.

"It's alright. Where did you see her?" I asked and looked at the time on the IPod. 12:20. "What's your name?"

"Nao. Ka-san went in there." She said and took one of the ear buds from me when I hand it to her. Looking to the alley she pointed I sighed. 'Naturally.'

"Someone was calling for help." She explained and I gathered her into my arms.

"You're sure?" I asked and slipped the bud into my ear.

She nodded and I stepped into the alley. We walked and listened to a violin play. My heartbeat rose and fell in tune. Her hand clutched tighter around my jackets collar and I just prayed my luck wasn't as bad as my imagination made scenarios seem. As we reached a four way I heard her gasp.

"Ka-san!"

A young woman lay on the ground, groceries scattered around her. I set the girl down quickly and tore the ear bud from my ear. Flashes of Ran kept playing through my mind as I knelt down next to the woman. I placed my shaking hand over her mouth. 'Please be alive, please be'

"Alive." I whispered and felt my panic settle. I looked around for her purse and found none. Reaching for my pocket I remember snapping my phone in half when Gin found me.

"Ka-san."

I looked at the girl and cursed. She was clutching the IPod and stared wide eyed at me. "She's okay. I need a phone do you have one?"

When she shook her head I cursed again. A loud rattle from behind us made us both jump. I leaped a snatched the girl behind me when a knife came into view. Placing her behind me I reached back and placed my hand on the hilt of Gin's knife I had hidden under my shirt. I ignored her weak murmur and stared blankly at the stocky man that stumbled into view. When I saw the purse it didn't take long to put two and two together.

The thing is about most muggers and purse snatchers they take what they want then disappear. This guy was neither. He was a drunken idiot. I removed my hand from the hidden knife and held up both of my hands. He staggered closer and dropped the purse.

"Looks like another –hic- score."

Defiantly an amateur. I wrinkled my nose and pushed the girl further behind me. "Run and yell for help." I didn't have to look back to know she had shaken her head. "Go, you can do it. Just run and scream for the police." I grinned at her over my shoulder.

She watched me briefly and nodded before taking a couple steps back and running from the alley. The man lunged and I side stepped nearly tripping over the woman's feet. Jumping over a knocked over trash can I began to walk away from the woman. 'Come on follow me.' I thought.

When the man turned back to me I braced myself. He lunged and I stepped back again. The sound of the blade sing through the air made me freeze and I thought of Gin again. I pushed him from my mind and jumped back in time for the knife to just catch my arm. Forced against the wall I braced my upper back to it and when he lunged again I kick upward. My foot caught his chin and he slammed into the wall behind him and dropped.

"Nii-san!"

I looked over and saw the girl wave at me with Nakamouri Gizou in tow. I smiled at her as she ran towards me and scooped her into my arms. "You were very brave."

She laughed and hugged me. "Thank you!"

Adrenaline was still making my ears ring and it took me a few minutes to realize that Nakamouri was talking to me. "The woman will be alright she's just unconscious."

"That is! What is the hell were you thinking?! What if he killed you!? Why didn't you just run?!" He shouted and I stared in shock at him. Unable to actually stop him Nao and I listened to him rant.

"Jezz, what would I have told Aoko?"

Aoko? Then it clicked. With the ball cap I was wearing he must have thought I was Kaito. I chuckled and received a glare for it. Placing Nao back down quickly I raised my hands to defend against another rant. "I'm not who you think!"

"Huh?"

I thought about how I should approach this and remember Kaito's lunch. "What time is it?!"

Huh?Uh" He glanced at his watch. "Fifteen after one."

Crap! I grabbed the bento I placed next to the woman. "Sorry, I've really got to go!"

I felt a small hand wrap around my wrist and looked down to Nao. She was holding up the IPod. "Thank you."

"Mm."

"Don't worry, He may look gruff but Keibu-san is very nice." I said just loud enough for him to hear. "He even lets me get away sometimes."

I watched the wheels turn in his head before something clicked. Grinning wildly at him I rose and ran from the alley as he started shouting curses and KID! I laughed and grinned like a fool. I felt weightless. True it might be because I was still high from the adrenaline but right at the moment I couldn't care less. The girl's thank you was still replaying itself in my head. 'That is the reason, Kudou. That right there is why you need to continue being a detective.'

I glanced at the directions and made the appropriate turn. Slowing to a walk I caught my breath and watched the campus came into view. It was huge! I whistled and looked around. Many students were either roaming about or lounging in the blocks of grass. Looking up I smiled at the clear sky.

"Good day." I said to myself and stretched.

Pulling out the paper I realized Chikage didn't write down his class schedule. I laughed lightly and shook my head. Strolling around a bit I found a map sign.

"Reception, reception." I mumbled and looked around.

They have everything here. I scanned through the list and thought about it. I didn't even know what Kaito was majoring in. I found the reception marker and copied down a quick map. When I finally found Kaito he was sitting on a stool bent over a work desk and welding two pieces of thin pipe together. I huffed and tried to find my good mood. The receptionist was rude and the mob that chased me half way across the campus was insanely large and every single one of them was pissed off at Kaito. What for was beyond me and I didn't want to get caught to find out either.

I continued to watch him quietly. He was wearing an expression I hadn't seen before. It was so calm and concentrated. He slipped off the goggles and blew on the metal. Examining it he found something wrong and pulled the goggles back down.

"Are you here for something?"

I looked up at the man and surprised myself when I didn't jump. "Yeah, him."

He followed my thumb that point to Kaito and nodded with a smile. "Ah, Kuroba-kun, you have a visitor."

The class room fell silent and I didn't move from my spot in case I needed to run again. I struggled to hold on to my annoyed expression as I watched the emotions play across his face when he pulled the goggles off. He smiled and for a moment all I wanted to do was tell him about my day and just sit next to him for a while. I blushed slightly when he practically ran up to me.

"I can't believe you're here."

I held up the bento when he went to hug me and he blinked in shock at it. "You forgot this." He gave a wild grin and I looked out into the hall. The class room cat called and I blushed slightly. "Bakas, he forgot it at home." I shouted and dug myself in deeper. "I was just brought it here for him." I shook my head and looked at him seriously. "I'm going back."

There was more cooing and I glared at them fighting the flush that was creeping down my neck. I noticed Kaito peek over my shoulder and I lowered the bento he failed to take. "She isn't here." He gave me a soft questioning look and I grinned. "It's just me."

"By yourself?" He asked softly. I nodded and felt the ball cap lift off my head. "By yourself." He stated this time and I nodded again.

Kaito gave and excited yelp and hugged me. I protested and pushed again him and when I heard the calls from the classroom I wiggled even harder. "Let go!"

"What happened to your arm?" He asked suddenly and held it up by my hand.

"Huh? Oh" I had for gotten about that. "I caught it on a fence on my way here. It's nothing."

Kaito studied me for a moment and I hoped he picked up my tone. I didn't want to talk about it in front of everyone. He shook his head and pulled me towards his desk.

"Hakase, do you still have that first aid? Clumsy over here cut his arm."

"I am not clumsy." I pouted.

"Sure you're not." Kaito sang.

"Who was the one that fell out of the bed this morning?" I asked innocently and looked up towards the ceiling to hide my smirk.

Kaito made a face at me and patted the stool. I grinned at him and took the offered seat.

"You wouldn't happen to be Shinichi, would you?" A girl asked.

"I am." I replied and pulled off the letterman jacket.

There was muffled laughter around us and I looked at them curiously.

The same girl held out her hand. "Shake."

I looked at her hand then to Kaito, he was as confused as I was. Cautiously I shook her hand. The laughter increased.

"Looks like you're going to have to train him a bit more." She said winking at me.

"Huh?" came from both of us as I look back and forth between the two. Kaito knelt in front of me and took my arm gently.

"Gomen, Shinichi-kun but it's a joke. You see from the situation Kaito describe months ago we thought 'Shinichi' was a dog."

A dog? I snorted and glared weakly at her. Most of the classrooms held back laughter erupted around us.

"But you know, Kaito this makes the conversation we shared a lot more interesting." She continued and smirked at him.

Kaito froze half through a wrap and I winced when he pulled too tight.

"Conversation?" I asked never taking my eyes off him.

"About you." She replied and pulled up a stool next to me.

I watched Kaito's breath hitch and his hands trembled slightly.

There was a devil in her smile as she leaned over to me and half whispered. "He may have"

I squeaked and jumped when hands clamped over my ears. I could just barely make out Kaito's hissed voice.

"Kyoka! Seriously don't. I've talked to him." He panicked.

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

"Then there shouldn't be a problem in" Her own hand muffled the rest of her words.

Kaito remained silent and glared at her. I tugged on his hands and they didn't budge. I huffed and squirmed. Jerking my head to the side I nearly fell off the stool.

"Kaito!" I protested, pulling on his wrists and half glaring up at him.

His ears and neck were red. I felt his fingers squeeze and rub right behind my ears. I controlled the shiver as it raced down my spine and expelled a breath when he released me. I looked at Kyoka and she just smiled. Right as I opened my mouth to ask she brushed her fingers lightly to my lips.

"You are going to have to ask him, Shin-inu."

I glared up at her when she stood and returned the stool. Looking to Kaito I watched him crouch back down and finished wrapping my arm. He was edgy and as curious as I was I didn't think he wanted an audience. He finished and busied his hands with the thin piping on the work desk. I smiled. It was interesting to see him so nervous. It was usually the other way for us. Looking to his project I glanced around and quickly put shape to the pipes.

"It's your hang-glider?" I asked and picked up one of the joints.

He blinked at me and grinned. "Good guess. A while back I snapped some poles and I've never gotten around in to fixing it."

The joint was cool as I placed it to my lips and leaned forward onto the tabled top. "People won't suspect?"

"Suspect what?" He said innocently and leaned his hip against the table.

I glanced sideways at him and placed the joint back down. "Thanks for bandaging my arm. I just wanted to drop off your food."

"You don't have to leave." He said and took the stool I vacated.

"How much time do you have left?" I asked and pulled on my jacket.

"This class is scheduled twice so another hour and I still have to drop off a thesis."

I thought about it and shook my head with a smile. "Nah, besides getting there first will give me some time to think about what questions I want to ask you and I don't think I'll be able to keep my day a secret very long here." I whispered into his ear. "It was … reassuring."

I rose and watched him brush his ear. Smirking I walked to the door. "See you at home."

As I walked out the door I felt my breath hitch. It had turned into that. Kaito, Chikage, the house in the middle of the row. It was home.

* * *

Because I know every one is going to ask about Gin's knife and why does Shinichi, relax, he's won't ever use it with malintent and it will get explained later. -KS


	6. And death shall have no dominion

Easy chapter this time. Enjoy- KS

* * *

Chapter 6: "Though lovers be lost, love shall not; And death shall have no dominion." - Dylan Thomas

* * *

" Congratulations, Shinichi." Chikage said and hugged me.

I laughed and when she stepped back I hung my jacket up and bowed playfully. "Thank you, thank you."

I wear their eccentricity was rubbing off on me. She laughed and handed me a drink.

"So how did Kaito react?"

"He was shocked and a little worried." I took and sip and sat against the counter to watch her prep dinner.

"Whatever happened to keeping a poker face?" She laughed.

I smiled and suddenly wished to see my own mother. "Thank you, Chikage."

"For what?" She asked and looked over her shoulder.

"For being a mother." I said and passed her a covered bowl.

Her eyes watered briefly before the tears vanished and she smiled.

It was a couple of later and Chikage and I were laughing at the TV, thanks to a very stupid game show that she was addicted to when we heard the front door opened. I stood and walked in the hall to find Kaito standing there. Before I could even finish the greeting he tackled me.

"Kaito? What's wrong?!" I wheezed.

He shook his head and wrapped his arms around me tighter.

"Kaito?" I let my hands roam for any injuries.

He stepped back and grinned. "I'm fine."

I blinked and looked back to Chikage who shrugged. Scratching the back of my head I looked worriedly back to Kaito. "You sure?"

His grinned widened and he nodded. "Mm."

We sat at the table eating and I explained my day.

"Was her mother alright?" Chikage interjected when I came to the part.

"Yeah, just unconscious. It was Nakamouri Ginzou who showed up though." I continued and took a bite of rice.

"Keibu?!" They said in unison.

"Yeah, I think he had a rare day off. It was just my luck that it was him the girl found."

"The poor Keibu." Kaito laughed.

I nibbled on the end of my chopsticks and mentally debated on letting him now I may have hinted that I was KID. "Well, at first he mistook me for you but"

"But?" Chikage asked.

"I may have hinted that I was KID." I mumbled.

Kaito choked and continued to cough while Chikage patted his back.

"Why?" She inquired for both of them.

"I don't know. To have a little fun, I guess. I don't want everyone to know I'm in the area. Besides even if he was still thinking I was Kaito. HE" I said pointing at the thief with my chopsticks. "was in a classroom filled to the brim with people. It wouldn't have stuck."

"Yes but you could have used a fake name." Kaito coughed.

I fell silent. He had a point but at the time … I shook my head. "An eye for an eye."

"Hm?"

"You've used my face before. I don't think there is a problem in me using your name for a moment." I smirked.

Chikage laughed. "I think it's flattering that the first person you thought to use was Kaito."

I swung my head and glared lightly at her. She is way too sharp.

"I guess I could accept you using my name with that logic." He smiled.

Egotistical. "Anyway, I dropped off the bento, watched an interesting reaction from him and had no other incident on my way back."

"You sound proud." Kaito said.

"So, if you knew me as well as you know me now a year ago you'd understand why."

"But I do. I highly doubt your luck is that bad?" He argued.

"It has been." I countered and stood to put away my dishes.

When I turned back to them Kaito was pouting. I laughed and shook my head. "It's nothing to worry about. I just have this way of sniffing out crimes or manage to be in the right place. Either way as a detective it keeps me busy."

"Like a dog." Kaito smirked and received a glare. Chikage stifled a laugh and I walked towards the stairs. "Say, Shinichi." Looking back at the two I saw Kaito's hand was held out to me. "Shake."

"Woof." I exhaled sharply and walked up the stairs.

I had just finished getting dressed from my bath when Kaito's head popped in my doorway.

"Good night, Shinichi."

"Kaito, wait." I sighed and sat down on the bed. I heard the door closed and looked up at him. "There was something I wanted to ask you."

I felt the bed dip beside me. Our thighs brushed and I felt my face heat and fumbled with my question.

"You want to know why I covered your ears when Kyoka said something."

I nodded and looked at him. I wanted the answers but I also wanted him to trust me enough to give them. Kaito shifted and we touched again. He took a deep breath and scratched his head before looking at me seriously and rotating to sit facing me. "Are you sure you want the answer?"

I couldn't trust my voice so I nodded. Why was I so nervous? My heart raced and I took a deep breath and faced him.

Kaito smiled and an emotion I hadn't felt in a long time bubbled up. Attraction, pure attraction. He leaned forward slightly and bumped heads with me. I blushed when I saw the longing. I swallowed and felt his hand stroke my cheek.

"I didn't want you to find out that I may have a crush on you from someone else. I was also worried that you weren't going to be here when I got home but when I saw you standing in the hall." He paused and closed his eyes. "I knew. I'm glad that I decided to trust you."

"That explains the tackle I received." I whispered.

"Yeah." He chuckled and took my hands in his. "I know I can't replace her and I don't want to. I just want to be someone you can lean on."

I stared at our hands and felt oddly comfortable with the way they looked together. I flinched at the lips on my brow and looked up at Kaito in shock. His hands gripped mine reassuringly. It was so soft and so light. Like the wings of butterfly's. Kaito was barely brushing his lips across mine. I watch him for a moment before my eyes slipped closed.

Ran.

That one thought brought so much back. I choked on a sob and bowed my head. The arms wrapped around me gently and cradled me. The tears and sobs flowed freely and Kaito remained silent and rubbed my back.

The next morning I woke with a splitting headache and in Kaito's hold. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes and I buried my face into the pillow. Willing them back I sat up and looked down to the sleeping man beside me. I crawled out of his arms and froze when he stirred. Smiling I grabbed clean clothes and head to the shower.

I stared at my reflection and blinked. My eyes were puffy and red. Sighing and braced my hands against the sink. I couldn't remember the last time I ever cried, or if I had ever cried. I blushed and brushed the back of my hand over my mouth.

"Are you alright?" Chikage asked suddenly.

I yelped and slipped on the bath mat.

"I'm so sorry! Are you alright?" She asked between laughs.

"You know it's a little hard to tell if you're concerned when you're laughing like that." I fussed at her from my spot on the floor.

"I know, I'm sorry. I haven't seen a reaction like that since Kaito was little." She laughed and held out her hand.

"Seriously both of you need to stop walking around so light footed around me." I pouted.

"I didn't!" She exclaimed. "You were so lost in thought you didn't even hear me. Kaito wasn't in his room when I passed I saw him in yours. I was about to ask you if you guys talked?"

I felt my face heat.

"I say you guys did more than talk." She laughed.

"Hold on all we did was k" I squeaked.

Chikage laughed and I stared glumly at the floor. "What's wrong?"

"I broke down on him."

She went silent and sat in front of me.

"I thought back to the one person I was/ am deeply in love with. She … she was murdered infront of me. I brought her so much pain every time I visited. I had made her wait for so long only to have her died. That kiss brought it all back. My love, the pain of losing her, my guilt and my regret." I poured out.

"Do you regret letting Kaito kiss you?"

"No, I regret not being able to do that with Ran. When Kaito kissed me I felt so many emotions. Excitement, attraction, comfort, pain and because I still care for Ran, guilt. That was what broke me. I took that away from her. Her chance for happiness."

"Did she love you?"

"Yes."

"Did she ever say that she was unhappy waiting for you?"

No, but"

"You didn't do anything more than what you've done. You didn't pull the trigger, nor did you lead her there."

I froze. The details about my capture and Ran's death were secret. I only told Chikage and Kaito what they needed to know; the bare minimum.

Chikage watched me carefully before her hand tightened around my arm. I gasped out in pain before I swung. She jumped back.

"Come on, now. I was helping." She smiled. "My precious silver bullet."

I leaped.

"Shinichi! Shinichi!" Kaito's voice screamed against the roar in my ears.

I jolted and realized my arm was pressed against his throat. Sitting up I watched him gasp and cough. Before I could move again he wrapped his arms around me.

"It's alright. It was just a nightmare."

"I could've" I shook.

"No." He coughed again. "Even then you weren't pressing hard enough. It seemed like all you wanted to do was pin me."

"God, Kaito, I'm so sorry." I said and buried my face into my hands.

"It's okay. You're still pretty raw from last night I should have realized that you may have nightmares." He said softly over my head.

I recognized the tone. I took a deep breath. "It was Vermouth." At his questioned look I shook my head. "A member of the Organization. She's not quite an enemy but isn't someone I can trust. She had" I paused. "She had disguised herself as Chikage. When I figured out it was her I leaped."

"That must have been when I woke you." Kaito said softly.

I nodded and looked up at him. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, just caught off guard. You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry." I mumbled again. I didn't think I could say it enough.

He rubbed his throat some and smiled. "Before I was yanked underneath you I was trying to tell you that Ka-san left for Beika. She said that she was going to be there all day."

I climbed off his legs and sat on the edge of the bed. "Did she say what she would be doing?"

"Something about meeting one of Otou's old students." He shrugged.

I stood and rubbed my eyes. I needed a shower and food. Grabbing some clean clothes I ignored the sense of déjà vu and walked back to Kaito. He looked up at me and I realized that this was the first time I looked down at him. It was usually the opposite. I continued to watch him as I buried my hands into his soft brown hair. He remained pliant under my hands as his blue violet eyes watched me curiously. Tilting his head down I stepped forward so it could rest on my chest.

"Thank you, Kaito, for last night."

"Anytime." He said and I felt him smiled and hug my waist.

I closed my eyes and slid my hands to his shoulders and rested my head against his shoulder. "I want to heal, Kai." I said softly. I leaned back and didn't look at him. I didn't need to know he was watching me in shock. "You said you wanted to be someone I could lean on. Is it alright if I can?"

His hands moved up my back and pulled me in closer. "Of course, Shinichi."

We remained like that for a while. Just holding on to each other, listening to our heartbeats mingle. I sighed and rose. Gathering my clothes I head towards the bathroom. Once there I slid to the floor in embarrassment. Exhaling though pursed lips I ran the scene over and over in my head. AGH! So embarrassing! I turned on the shower and striped. 

"You want to go out to lunch?" Kaito asked as he walked down the stairs towel drying his hair.

"Not looking like this." I grumbled. My eyes were still red and slightly swollen. It had given me a shock when I saw myself this morning in the mirror. "Beside the only thing I feel like doing is sitting here watching mindless TV and veg-ing. I can't remember the last time I did that." I said and stretched out fully on the couch.

"Poor baby." He cooed playfully and I felt his hand card through my hair.

I didn't want to open my eyes; to look up and see an emotion I wasn't ready to reciprocate. Even as I felt his kiss on my brow and the tenderness there I felt recoil. My love for Ran.

"I still love her." I murmured.

"You probably always will." He said.

I did look this time and sighed as I sat up. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"There is no such thing as a painless love."

I turned to him when he sat down next to me with a computer. "Kai, it's still too painful. Ran was my reason to live, to fight. I loved her so much and yet I'm attracted to you and have been for a long time but I can't do anything now without feeling some kind of guilt and recoil."

He nodded. "I understand."

"Do you Kaito? Seriously do you understand that I may never feel for you?"

"But you do somewhat. You said so yourself. I don't mind waiting and as for your feelings for Ran if you don't feel that way I'd have to worry. It shows that your feelings for her were genuine and pure and shows just how much you loved her. Shinichi, stick to what you're comfortable with. I'm fine with whatever you choose."

"Kai" I started.

"You call the shots in this." He winked. "And before you ask, again, I'm okay with that. I can be submissive too you know."

I shook my head. "What if I friend zone you?"

Kaito tossed his head back and laughed. "It's better than you disappearing and never speaking to me again."


End file.
